Bliss

A tribute to family....I feel so blessed to have the family I do. I have a son who amazes me and fills my heart each and every day. My husband is my best friend and eternal companion. I am such a lucky woman to have these wonderful men in my life.  

Time is speeding up without my permission. I wish it would stop or at least slow down a hair. Liam is approximately 14 lbs and 24 inches (up from 6.5 lbs anf 19 inches at birth). He's 3 months old already people! When the heck did that sneak up on me? It seems like he amazes me everyday with some new skill. He put his hands together for the first time Sunday and now he acts like he's been doing it all along. He rolled onto his side yesterday morning for the first time. Part of me wants to cheer him on and another part of me says, "Wait! Stop and stay little for a while." My Liam is the sweetest little soul in the world to me. I never knew how much I could instantly love someone I had never met before.

Liam reads his favorite book

 We had a pleasant, if uneventful, Thanksgiving vacation. I made a traditional dinner, lumpy mashed taters and all. We put up the Christmas tree and Liam even "helped" a little. I love this time of year...it always makes me reflect on the blessings I have been given...and sometimes it makes me a little sad to be so far away from other family members. But I love to let myself get caught up in the spirit of the season. This year especially, I have so much to be grateful for. For example, right now I'm glad I have two hands because Liam is fast asleep in one arm and I'm using the other to type this one-handed.
I always start the holiday season off by watching Frosty The Snowman and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Christmas just doesn't seem complete without them.



Rudolph gets his glow on



Gotta love that abominable snow monster

A Complaint

So here's my complaint of the week:  Health Insurance. I get fairly good insurance from my job, but as of next month there will be yet another premium and maximum out-of-pocket increase. I actually get my insurance for free, but Hysen and Liam are added on also. I have shopped around for different insurance for the two of them, but whenever I find a low premium, the deductible or maximum out-of-pocket is sky high. And whenever I find a low deductible, the premium is outrageous. Or when I find both a low premium and a low deductible, the insurance doesn't carry anyone in the area I live in. What the heck!?

Here's a question:  How is it that I can pay almost $400 a month for insurance with a $10,000 deductible (yes TEN thousand!) when someone I know doesn't have any insurance and has gotten over $100,000 in hospital treatments for FREE? Don't get me wrong, I am glad that I have insurance. It gives me peace of mind that we are protected and can get the help we need. And I'm also glad that there are free programs that can help people who don't have insurance. I once waited 3 days to go the emergency room for a broken finger because I didn't have insurance. I finally went when my finger was twice its normal size. So I know how it feels to be scared because you don't have insurance and you're worried about money. But now I also know how it feels to pay a large premium every month and still have to worry about the doctor's bill.

I am grateful that my job offers health insurance and I know that the rates are actually pretty low compared to other people's. There are many people who have worked hard to ensure that we are offered the lowest possible premiums and such. But isn't there a bigger picture here than just my family? What about the millions of people in the U.S. alone that don't have insurance? Or that have insurance, but still can't afford to pay the bills that aren't covered? I understand that we all try to have financial security, that material things can be a sign of status, and that we all strive for success, but do some professionals in the medical community really need that fourth car? Or that 25,000 sq foot beach house? Or that 50 million trust fund? And what about the insurance companies? Where does all of my money go if not straight to my medical bills? I suppose into someone's pocket.

Okay, I don't want to get into a finger-pointing contest with anyone. There are a lot of great doctors who deserve to be rewarded for their specialties and there are a lot of good people in the insurance industry. But I think that so many people fall through the cracks. We have a system in place in this country, but I don't think it works. Okay, correction:  It works until you get sick.

So, here's my list of things I can do to plan for the future...and to afford stuff:

1. I will never get sick again.
2. Hysen and Liam will never get sick again.
3. I will get a second (or third) job to pay for health insurance (forget about saving for retirement or building a college fund for Liam).
4. I will become a doctor in multiple fields (Pediatrics, Gynecology, Obstetrics, Oncology, etc) so if we do get sick, I can just it treat myself. (Being my own doctor during labor and delivery might get a little tricky, though. Hysen might have to become a doctor, too.)
5. Get a fourth and fifth job to pay for medical school and the counseling I will need due to exhaustion and stress.
6. End up selling our house and possesions to meet our $45,000 deductible (around the year 2025).
7. And finally, move to Canada (or even Cuba) because they have a free health care system. Of course we'll have to walk there (or swim in the case of Cuba) because we sold our car...

This picture doesn't have anything to do with the rest of the post, but Liam is just nice to look at.
Especially when sporting a cute bat outfit.

Unexpected Blessings

Today I am grateful that I have a Heavenly Father who loves and watches over my family.

Just a few hours ago, I was driving home from the store with Liam. At the best of times, Liam despises his carseat and this was definitely not the best of times. He was tired, a little hungry, and just plain fussy. (Since I went back to work last Monday, Liam has been increasingly fussy during the day and not sleeping very well at night. I think it's separation anxiety.)

Anyway, he was crying and getting pretty frantic with trying to shove his whole fist in his mouth, but missing and kind of bopping himself in the forehead. It would have been funny if he wasn't crying. He doesn't take a pacifier, so I did the next best thing. I reached back and stuck my finger in his mouth. Now, my arms are not very long so it was a pretty uncomfortable position. It worked for about 4 seconds, then Liam realized nothing to eat came out of the finger and started crying again. I'm not the kind of mom who freaks out if my baby cries a little bit, but he was getting hysterical. So I tried the finger again, not wanting to stop and nurse him when I was, by this time, only 5 minutes from home. Again, it worked for a few seconds. So with my arm going numb and hurting quite a bit, I drove for a few more minutes.

Liam had just started crying again so I rested my arm briefly and then stuck my finger back in his mouth. He cried for a few seconds and then all of a sudden, there was silence. Cue me freaking out. He has a baby proof mirror attached to his carseat so I looked in the rearview mirror to see if something had happened...if he somehow stopped breathing or something...a million things ran through my mind in an instant. What did I see? He was asleep. Totally, completely, sound asleep...after just screaming literally a second before.

I took my finger out of his mouth and finally started paying more attention to the road. I was on a curvy part of the road and it was dark. I put on my brights and immediately applied the brakes because there was a huge buck standing in the middle of my lane. I came to a full stop and the deer slowly walked to the other lane and into the woods. As I rolled the car past the place where the deer had been, I felt a sudden chill and all I could think was, "Thank you!" All this happened not 15 seconds after Liam fell asleep. If he had still been awake...if my arm was still reached back to him and I was distracted, I never would have seen that deer. I am so very thankful that Heavenly Father helped me pay close attention when it mattered most. I can't give words to how grateful I am that He is watching over me and kept Liam and I safe tonight.

I am so thankful for my little Liam.

Adjustment Bureau

Is it alright to dub myself Superwoman or is that a title that needs to be given by someone else? Today marks the end of my first week back at work. No tears, no breakdowns, no major mishaps...all in all a pretty smooth transition. Well actually, it seemed more like an abrupt jolt, but still a success. Liam was such a good boy every day. Yes it was heart wrenching to kiss his little cheeks goodbye every morning, but it was so incredibly wonderful to see him smile when he saw me when I walked in the door every afternoon. He knows his momma! I think it really helps me that we co-sleep with him. Sometimes sharing a bed with a baby is not very sleep inducing, but I love getting snuggle time with him at night. I missed him all day but I resisted the urge to call and check on him every five minutes. I want to pat myself on the back. And I'm so proud of Liam, too! What a good little man!

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with everything on my plate now, but I hope with time that will ease a bit. It's difficult to just jump right back into everything at my job and feel totally competent. Hopefully no one notices when I get that 'dazed and confused' look!

Looking forward to the next 48 hours of uninterrupted Liam and Mommy time!