Back to the Daily Grind

So it's back to work for me tomorrow...I have a whole plethora of mixed feelings. I work for the local community services board at a day program for adults with intellectual disabilities called the Magnolia Center. It's really great and we usually have a lot of fun. (Where else can you go to the park, put on plays, dress up for Halloween, play volleyball, and just have a great time?!) Oh and I forgot to mention the food...for some reason we're always eating something yummy. It's almost like it's a requirement that you have to gain weight in order to work there. Anyway, so I like my job...but I absolutely adore staying at home with my son! The past two and half months have been some of the best of my life. Getting to know Liam, waking up to the sounds of him cooing next to me, rocking him to sleep, and just watching him grow and experience the world around him renders me speechless. From the moment he was born, I haven't been away from him for more than a couple of hours at a time and starting tomorrow I'll be apart from him 8 hours a day! I'm sure every mother goes through this and I'm confident that both he and I will be fine after a period of adjustment. It's just that I will miss him so dearly every moment right up until I walk through the front door when I get home.

Maybe I'll move to Switzerland or Sweden or wherever that guy in the news was from....he got a year and half of PAID paternity leave. A year and a half!!! And he's not even the mother! Sometimes America really bites.

Well, anyway we'll see how tomorrow goes. Also to make things even more interesting, I'm going to use a pump at work so Liam can still benefit from breastmilk even if I can't be there to nurse him. I hope I don't drive my co-workers and my husband crazy with calls and worrying all day long. I'm sure everything will be fine. Here I am worried about Liam, but wouldn't it be funny if he didn't even notice I'm gone? :)

Maybe if I win the lottery I can stay home.

Who can resist this bundle of sweetness?

Beautiful baby boy!

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

I LOVE autumn! It's my favorite season! The colors, the cool crisp air, the frost, wearing sweaters and hats, drinking hot chocolate...all of it! In honor of this most beautiful and fabulous season (and really the only one worth mentioning at all when discussing seasons), I would like to give a shout out to some of my favorite things:

Chocolate

Clothes fresh from the dryer

A good book (so many out there!)

Music (Bob Marley, Celtic, Jazz, Norah Jones, I could go on and on)

My Family

Liam and Hysen (They get their own category!)

Scarves

America's Funniest Home Videos (I seriously die laughing)

Getting a massage

Taking a nap with Liam

Taking a leisurely drive (With gas prices this hasn't happened in a while)

Learning more about the gospel

The smell of a home cooked meal (especially if someone else cooked it!)

Zombie Movies!!!!

HOT showers

Yoga (love my new mat Jess, thanks!)

CSI and Grey's Anatomy (Because other people's drama is so much more interesting)

Hot Chocolate

Journal Writing (when I have time)

I could go on and on and on....there are so many things I love and so many things I have to be grateful for. I love that I can get up and choose to enjoy each day, no matter what that day brings. I am so very thankful for the things that I have been blessed with, especially my husband and my son. Sometimes my heart feels full to bursting and at those times and always, it is especially important to give thanks. I am grateful for the life I love to live!

A forever family

My sweet boys

Running Wild

So I know with pregnancy, giving birth, new motherhood, and all of the upheavals a new baby brings, emotions are expected to be all over the place. Somehow, I believed and was confident that I would be immune...this is NOT the case. It actually seems worse than during pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, not all of the mood swings and such are negative. When I hold Liam or watch him sleep, my heart just aches with love and I can't help but laugh for the sheer joy of looking at his sweet plump cheeks. When he 'talks' or smiles and I see his dimples (a gift from his daddy), I feel so happy and humbled that this perfect human being came from me!



There are those cheeks I go crazy over! :)

  

Then there's the other side.

Frustration, sadness, irritation...in an instant, I'm brought to tears over the stupidest little thing. Seriously. Everything seems to lead to crying! I was reading a book late last night (and I've read this particular book several times), and there was a part that I felt the heroine should not have forgiven her husband (at least not so easily). I got so mad that I actually threw the book...well, tossed it aside at least...then I picked it back up and started reading rapidly to get past the part that pissed me off. When the characters did finally make up, I started crying! At first it was because I was still mad but then it continued because I was happy they were back together. This book is FICTION!

When I was pregnant, I got teary a few times when I watched some sad movies and a few other times. But this just makes me feel ridiculous. I giggle and laugh like an idiot one moment and the next I'm crying over a puppy calendar. (Not really, but you get the point.) When will it end!? Will I become that crazy lady who yells at walls, talks to trees, and tells jokes no one understands? Okay that's an overstatement. Still, I'm starting irritate even me...oh my poor husband. I'm glad he's so patient...and that he has the sense not to ask the questions stated above. Smart man. :)

On another subject...this has been both the best (without a doubt the best) and one of the worst years of my life. I think as an adult I am still constantly changing, learning, and of course, still maturing. I still do embarassing things sometimes, say the wrong things, do things I regret, and sometimes I act childishly. But now that I have a child of my own, I have a greater desire to do better every day, not just for Liam...for an example for him, but also for myself. If I'm not the best person I can be, how can I be the best mother?

This post has been kind of heavy, but I want to say that even though parts of this year have really beaten me down, I'm still trying. Trying to move forward, to better myself, to show my love to Liam and Hysen. Most of all, I want to look back at this time and really, all of my life and say I did my best.

A very short little bald man has stolen my heart :)



A day with the boys...and other stuff

Yesterday was just plain wonderful. Hysen, Liam, and I slept in until 9 (it's such a fabulous feeling to snuggle with a newborn baby) and then we headed out to the Stake Center to watch a session of General Conference (for our church, http://www.lds.org/ ). Liam was such a good boy all day! He's smiling more and more and he loves to talk! Of course, he only speaks whale right now, but we're working on that. Here's a video of Liam on his changing table talking up a storm (and laughing a little) that Hysen shot today:

After watching part of the second session of Conference, we headed out to our friend Derek's house to do a photo shoot with him, his girlfriend Jamie, and her three kids Madison, Mackenzie, and Matthew. We took some great pictures and had a good time. However, it was all a guise so Derek could propose to Jamie at the end! (She said yes.) It felt great to be a part of such a unique experience.

Liam has developed quite a talent for startling himself...particularly when he's almost asleep. It all started a couple of weeks ago when he sneezed while I was feeding him. His eyes flew open and he stared at me for  a split second...then the shrieking began. Since then, he frequently startles himself with hiccups, burps, or the worst - heartwrenching crying in his sleep. (Seriously, he's still asleep while he emits random crying sounds. So pitiful and sad to hear.) The startling isn't improved when Hysen accidentally slams the door at the precise moment Liam falls asleep after I rock him for 45 minutes (true story).

I've been trying to find time to do a little yoga each day. Sometimes I don't even have the chance to get out my mat before I hear Liam wake up from a nap, but when I do get to stretch and do some poses, it really feels great. Ever since Liam was born, I've had really painful backaches every day and sometimes the yoga helps to stretch it out. I have to admit though, I do really easy poses. I actually still use the prenatal yoga video that I used during my pregnancy.

Another note on yoga and pregnancy...if there are any women out there close to their due dates and want to speed up the process, yoga is the way to go. A few hours before I went into labor, I took a walk with Hysen, my sister Jessica, and my neice Ella. We walked a mile or so in 95 degree weather and I was one day past my due date. Then Jess and I did an hour of prenatal yoga. A few hours later, I was in labor! Thinking about it now, I can't believe how active I was right up until I had Liam...even though I didn't feel like I was doing a whole lot. I worked the week before he was born (I took half a day on Thursday and all of Friday off because one of my sisters came to visit...Liam was born the following Monday). I hope to be as healthy and active during my next pregnancy.

This post has been all over the place! That's what I get for posting to my blog before writing in my journal...I want to talk about everything and can't stay on one subject. Sorry! :) I just want to share how wonderful life has been lately!

New to blogging...

So I'm new to blogging...or at least having my very own blog. My husband, Hysen and I have a blog for our photography business, http://blog.justophotography.com/, but this will be all mine. And FYI - Justo is pronounced "hoo-stow". It's a pet peeve.

Ahhh motherhood. I've only been a mom for almost 7 weeks, but already it feels like Liam has always been a part of my life. Each day isn't easy but nothing gives me greater joy than seeing him smile or feeling his weight on my chest as he sleeps. I can't believe this little human being started as a tiny peanut in me! It's so hard to fathom that one day he will walk, talk, get married, and have kids of his own! (When he's 40 or so.)

Liam laughed for the first time a few days ago...what a sweet sound. Then he projectile spit up onto the wall. What a little miracle he is.

Liam around a week old

Sweetness

A view of Liam on the inside...33 weeks gestation